Tits, Pits & Naughty Bits

Quick Question…

Have you ever had “just one of those days” where proper bathing seemed too exhausting a feat to attempt for the day?

I know I’m getting more personal than most would dare, but I don’t really care. Honesty has been my friend and preference longer than this blog has been.

So here goes….

I’ve been there. Too tired, too lazy, or too busy to wash my hind parts.

I’d like to say its because I’m a new mom. My son demanding every moment of me, so much so, that a trip to the bathroom comes with an audience of one, and a quick shower comes with a symphony of infant wailing.  And although that’s all true, the real truth is, I’ve had these moments long before my son was a speck of thought.

WHY?
Why allow such a “dirty hind” to carry on into adulthood?!

Because time.
Because work.
Because process.

Bathing is not ALWAYS a soothing act of comfort and necessity. Yes, when you are visibly and physically dirty enough to feel the grime or dryness wholly takeover your skin; showering can feel like a blessed savior to a hide.

But it can also feel like a chore. Follow me here:

Ah! = Good/Great
Ugh! = Bad/Annoying
Meh! = Not too bad

  1. Taking off your clothes – Ah!
  2. Setting the water temperature – Ugh!
  3. Stepping into the deliciously hot water – Ah!
  4. Lathering up –  Meh!
  5. Scrubbing Down
    Front Side = Ah!
    Back (for the flexible) = Ah!
    Back (for the rest of us) = Ugh!
    Bottom Half (for those who can see their feet without leaning over) = Ah!
    Bottom Half (for those who can ONLY see their feet by leaning over) = Ugh!
  6. Shaving = Ugh!
  7. Washing Hair = Ugh!
  8. Washing Face = Ah!
  9. Brushing Teeth = Ah! and Ugh! (honestly depends)

And all the above does not include the process that follows the bathing (which is where my true exhaustion of the act stems from); the moisturizing and dressing of oneself.

Personally, I am an “ashaphobic.” I can’t stand to be ashy, and I have eczema-prone dry skin. Therefore, I spend a lot of time moisturizing….every inch…..of my body. And with multiple layers of moisturizer, from Vaseline, to Cocoa Butter, to Shea Butter. Its an exhausting but necessary process in order for me to feel truly comfortable in my skin.

Now, for you “ash-hounds” out there, moisturizing may not be your routine. Your kryptonite might be your makeup routine, your hair routine, or even all three. Regardless of the routine, sometimes the thought of starting the full bathing process (knowing you have to finish your routine once you start) can be exhausting in itself.

And so…you either skip a day; or you condense the shower or bath to a quick washing of your “tits, pits, and naughty bits.” In other words, you birdbath at your sink. Washing the important parts that simply CANNOT be ignored!

NOW, you can judge me. You can shun me. And you can deny it yourself. But I, bird-wash, my friend…and often. And I’m not ashamed! In fact, I’ll say it loud! Bird-wash and be PROUD!

Shoot, at least I’m still making an effort. \_(“-)_/

And that’s the truth, Ruth!

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